Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize