Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
My dick has a subreddit
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize