Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
