i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
