At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Send help, water and tortillas.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
