just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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