Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
