can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
