he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He better not be in your backpack
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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