just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
