So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just invented taco cereal.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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