You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
