dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
