How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize