Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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