I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just high enough for therapy.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
