M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
