Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
