this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
