is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
