i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Someone came in the potted fern
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
