He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
