Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You're like the curious george of whores
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
