i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
