All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize