2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
