remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
she pinky promised me she was 18
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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