Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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