When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
id be glad to
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We have so much sex to catch up on
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize