he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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