i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize