so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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