I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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