Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
