I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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