Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
