My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
