Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
