I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
