I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
