I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
