i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
