All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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