It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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