Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
