two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
