I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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