I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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