so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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