first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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