Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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