So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
