it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
