can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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