one might say we're banned from that church
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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