I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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