Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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