I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
