You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
