Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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