eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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